I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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