Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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