I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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