apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
