When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
