I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
