my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
