There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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