I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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