My cat gives me a boner
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
organizing the empties. That sober.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
