he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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