you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Houston, we have a blender
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
