She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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