drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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