It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
