If i come over, it means nothing
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
