Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
