dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
