Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
