I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
