Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize