So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
