no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
