sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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