When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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