Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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