So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
