I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
