you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
