Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
