We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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