Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
