honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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