I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
smell my finger.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
