We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
