You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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