Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
