peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Life is so much better after having sex.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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