my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
