Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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