do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
