It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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