So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
