ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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