Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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