I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
