no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
