Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
