I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Come on in and take your pants off
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