Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
