Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize