i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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