we're blogging at a bar
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
