You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
