Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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