i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
