He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
