so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
its liver damage thursday
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
