so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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