so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
