My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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