My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
