His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
