am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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