do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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