You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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