yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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