You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
